It has been an entire month since my last entry. Shame on me. You don’t know how many times I sat down intending to write, only to postpone it because I didn’t feel very wise.
Tonight, wise or not, I will carry on. (I just did a dance, jumped up and came down, made a silly face and talked to myself. I did not yell, it would scare Andrea.) Why do we say “jumped up and down”? If you jump up you will come down without any additional effort.
I continue to be encouraged, amazed, pleased and proud of my children. I see maturity, spiritual and emotional, in both of them that tells me that they are more than ok. I read some of the stuff that Mandy writes and I just marvel at the depth of thought and understanding that she displays. She knows what value I place on original thought. I watch her marvel at the goodness of God and how he affects her life. I see in Robby the man of God I have always known he would be. I see his faith, his resilience and his command of the word. He has grown to be the man of God he always knew he could be. He has had many opportunities this year to show his faith and his maturity. I have been impressed beyond my ability to express.
As the Dad, it has been a fault of mine to keep too tight a rein on my kids. I lacked the ability to let them go to do the things adults do without interfering or at least expressing an opinion. I have always been one to express my opinion. I have one on every subject and have always just let fly. I am learning that sometimes my “letting fly” contains miscommunications and opportunity for offense. Two ears, one mouth. I have decided to make a conscious effort to speak less often. Back to the kids. I felt that it was my responsibility to prop them up and “save” them from themselves and the world. I have had that discussion with several of my friends over the years and they all told me that I needed to get over it and get on with my life. What they meant was get over it and let the kids get on with theirs. That’s hard for a controller. I prefer to think of myself as a controller in the nicest sense. (if there is one) This year I have found more than any time in my life, that I am not in control. I don’t control me, I don’t control Andrea. Hard as I may have tried, I do not control Mandy or Robby. The three of them, spouses and child have shown me that God is really in control and that I should practice more of what I have preached to everyone else over the years.
So, as I go into this still night I wish you all a good night and blessing for tomorrow.
“when evening comes and shadows fall, I’ve done my best for Him today”
UncleWesty, over and out.